Safety alert....!?

The following is a safety alert released by the U of C police:

Between 6:45 and 7:05 a.m., Monday, September 11, (reported on September 12) on South Kenwood Avenue between Hyde Park Blvd. and 52nd Streets, a woman was leaving her residence when she was confronted by a man who forced her against a gate and fondled her. He fled with the victim's lunch container when a passerby happened on the scene. The offender was described as an African American in his 20's, about 5'10", with a strong body odor and bad breath, wearing a blue hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans. Police are investigating.

Man, the States is awesome. Not.