Alright, I feel I left you guys hanging with my story about the "typical" HK worker whom I thought was in a sad situation. A little recap: this guy who just joined Analysis Group broke down at 4am and started crying to everybody he spoke with. He refused all help offered and insisted that he himself was the center of problems. At the same time, he talked about quitting the company because he doesn't think he's treated right.
So of course you see the conflicting comments already (the latter one wasn't mentioned in the earlier emails). On one hand he thinks it's unfair. On another hand he thinks it's his fault. And all in all, he thinks he needs to work alone to solve all problems. He refuses help and wants to keep everything a secret.
And I was talking about a typical HK employee in the same sense. They all work so hard with absolutely no target in mind. They say yes to every request. They think that if they finish it quick and without help, they will be recognized for their working prowness, if you will.
If I could yell at this guy (and many more HK dudes who pretty much behave the same), I would:
First off, you cannot say yes to everything. The world of working consists of givers and takers. Givers will be bigger givers if takes become bigger takers. You have to stop the cycle. ESPECIALLY if you don't like it. If you like it, all bets are off. Work 24 hours. I don't care. If you don't, JUST SAY NO. What's the big deal when you say no to an unreasonable request?
Second, why blame yourself? There're are at least two people: you and your manager. There's also your other colleagues, your manager's manager. If you are the only person working at 5AM for your team and everybody else is gone, you have a real problem. Certainly, some blame falls on you. But it doesn't ALL fall on you.
Third, why refuse genuine help? Why try to be your own hero when you can't? Does asking help show a weakness? NO. It shows that you understand your weaknesses and you are working to address it. Always ask for help. And if help is offered, don't refuse it. Use resources that are available to you!