Count

8/11/2006

Are you okay...?

The depends on the timing, really. Sometimes I feel great, sometimes I don't. Long term, of course I'll be okay! Meantime, just have to deal with emotional swings. Oh yes, the male sometimes isn't so different from the female. I told TGF that I am 90% logic and 10% emotion. The 10% creeps up every now and then... I can't really control it. Or can I?

Maybe use the logic? Oh, but I haven't got any basis for anything! Maybe use imagination? A very dangerous art (not act)... in fact, in the midst of anger and dispair, I wrote a pretty compelling piece of story; as I re-read my little piece, I was surprised at how far the mind can go when it lacks answer. I'm not sure if it was imagination or logic. Maybe both.

And you know what the ironic thing is? There are so many possibilities that whatever imagilogic comes up with is surely a thousand miles from the truth. I guess we all want to know why when sh!t happens... oh well.

I'll be okay... in the long term. (nope, I can't tell you what the long term or short term is)

=)

3 comments:

sindy said...

i can see bain isn't working you hard enough. you have way too much free time to feel upset about shits in life.

Anonymous said...

sorry to hear abt ur brkup. but hope ur enjoying ur time at baine & at home!! wk

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about the breakup. .but remember that life is a composition of ups and downs..that everyone will go through no matter what. Expectation is a killer. When you think things are going well; and you are working your best to nurture it.. then poof... it disappears. Buddhism explains dettachment well. It does not mean you dont care enough, or want enough. You just do not place expectation on anything. ..and just enjoy what you have now.. at the moment.. and then no matter how bad, tough, joyful, great.. you realize that each moment is no more than the moment of the presence. No more no less. You then do not place attachment on things you have no/little control over ( another person's emotion) and just be grateful that you are doing just fine at this moment. OK.. too much goobily garb of the old. Breath, live, and look for positive, spiritually rewarding journeys. Perhaps a nice conversation with someone over coffee, or an encounter somewhere. Good and great things will come to you when you least expect it to happen. Alone and lonely.. you have good insight delineation of both. "Loneliness" will exist if you let it. Come back to the windy city where good things awaits you. nlc