Do you know where you were conceived?

My first day in Hong Kong: passport, visa, new account, close old account, credit card, foreign exchange, phone, dim sum, comics, questions on computers, cables, eye glasses, foot massage, spicy fried crabs... love the efficiency (not of me, but of the institutions).

This is a true conversation in the US embassy.

Embassy: where were your children born?
Filipino lady: Hong Kong
Embassy: and where were they conceived?
*Filipino lady: I told you they were born in HK...
*Embassy: no... I'm asking you... where were they conceived?
Repeat * four to five times
Embassy: I mean... er... how to say... where did... er... you and your husband... er... you know... er... how to say... er...
FL: OH. Um. (In deep thought) Hong Kong too.
Embassy: Okay.

That was the humorous part. (By the way, this Ali G interview of Becks and Posh gets to the conception of their child) Anyway, now comes the offensive one. The conversation proceeded...

**Embassy: I need to see your husband's passport and the stamp that proves that he is in Hong Kong during that time. I also need to see your passport and the stamp that proves you are in Hong Kong during that time.

(If I may interject with my thoughts: the kids are 5 and 7 respectively. You are asking for someone to remember WHERE they were conceived?? And what if they were born pre-mature? And what if the passport has expired? And why isn't this lady exploding mad - are you doubting that these are not his children? I am! Yet I digress.)

FL: I didn't bring my passport. It wasn't required by the embassy rules.
Embassy: Oh. Wait. (goes to manager)
Manager: Ma'm. Repeat **.
FL: I already told you I don't have the passport.
Manager: Are those your children (pointing)?
FL: Yes (calmly - I would say fuck you).
M: Can you bring them over?
FL: Sure (makes hand signal).
M: Hello, what is your name?
Son: Adam.
M: Is this your sister?
Son: Yes.
M: Is this your mother?
Son: Yes.
M: Hello, what is your name?
Daughter: Rose.
M: Is this your brother?
Daughter: Yes.
M: Is this your mother?
Daughter: Yes.
M: Thank you. Ma'm... (conversation continues)

Let the record show that the above conversation did NOT achieve the intended results, which I presume to be 1. US citizen father is real father and 2. Filipino lady isn't getting other kids and converting them to US citizenship. Homeland Security has resorted to using a child's innocence to help them screen out terrorists.

Man, was I angry. Where were YOU conceived... that's what I would have said to the embassy staff.

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