X, Y, and Z all know each other. X tells Y that Z is an ass. What should Y do?
- Don't tell Z and don't worry
- Tell Z and create some drama
do it for X - he or she might not be serious, might be exaggerating or kidding
do it for self - no need to create drama, no context to refer to, spreading gossip might backfire by violating trust
do it for Z - doesn't need to know, doesn't need to drama
Reasons for Y to choose the second option (1%):
do it to screw X - don't like or don't care much about X, or think that new will never circle back to X
do it for self - gain trust of Z, create some drama in life, may benefit from rift between X and Z
do it for Z - much better friend that X, therefore must alarm
The diligent you would have of course guessed that I got into trouble... that's right, I've been X, I've been Y, and I've been Z! Everybody has, there's no exception.
X - okay, so I shouldn't have opened my big mouth, whether I mean it or not.
Y - I don't like drama, and I think it backfires more than one realizes
Z - I generally dismiss the comments because people say different things in differen contexts. I can't judge it. Hence... people tend to not deliver the news
The Chinese translation for gossip is "yes and no" (是非)... for some odd reason, gossip travels much faster in Chinese circles. A friend of mine and I discussed this and came to the following conclusion: because Asian cultures are geared towards groups and units, there's a higher tendency to "cement" membership within the group by spreading gossip. Such gossip is viewed as sharing with the group and is validated by the group. Very odd... but makes sense.
But hey... on a lighter note, I won it all in some light poker play earlier tonight. There's a tournament tomorrow (for charity) and I'm hoping my new lucky cap can continue to bring me luck!