No #1

In Beijing right now. Went to a bar with an old friend and used the bathroom there. It's a Chinese old school squat toilet... smelled like shit but acceptably - acceptably only - clean. On the wall is a sign:
  • In Chinese: "请勿大便"
  • In English: "Don't shit here"
  • Also in English: "Please do not #1 here"
  • Also in English at the very bottom: "If you need to shit, please get a doggy bag"
Why are bathrooms such an adventure for me!?

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